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| Have Mercy On My Soul!!! | Ok, ladies and gentlemen, this is just a cheap way to shamlessly promote my poetry on the internet. This is my first shot at making a web page and I know it's going to turn out like shit but it's not about how good the page looks. It's about that poetry, right? Of course I'm right. | ||||||||||||||||||
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Determination By Tovey June 1, 2000 As a man has never thought, has never thought to give. I am also broken, jaded, without a reason to live. Never like the love I miss, but more of what I had. Just one more to get it back, wouldn't be so bad. Chances running low and slim, but I'm not giving in. I'm not quitting letting loose, not until I win. Forever is the longest time, but if it takes I'll call. Upon the one who showed me this, held me to my fall. So help me God, I'm not going yet, but if I fall straight through. I'll never fight, I'll never cry, I just want to be with you. My Angel By Tovey August 16, 2000 Denial is my biggest fear, and yet my biggest flaw. Acceptance is my weakest point, I live by nature's law. Success has never been there, following me around. I'm still as low as dirt, my feet haven't left the ground. Leaving well enough alone, is not the biggest choice I've made. I've been so happy lately, but yet been so afraid. Failure is always a threat to me, and usually pulls through that way. It's beaten me so far down, I can't see the light of day. I've always done a half ass job, as life seemed to pass me by. My legs are propped and I'm still standing, even though I want to die. I may never make it big, I'm going blind and I can't see. But that doesn't matter as long as I know, there's an angel watching over me. Name of Poem By Tovey May 29, 2000 Just as sure, as the day is long. I can't figure out, just where I went wrong. I know I'm there now, and I can't get it back. I've lost my right ways, I've gone off the track. Oh Lord though I wish, that it wasn't this way. But I must leave this place, I can't seem to stay. I've already moved on, but my scars won't heal. If only you knew, how I really do feel. My heart is gone cold, and love isn't there. It just might be better, but it sure isn't fair. So be it like this, I'll handle the pain. Suffer in filth, until there's something to gain. Suffer My Agony By Tovey August 14, 2000 My nature is holding me, far from my want. Living is darkness, my spirit shall haunt. Death seems to welcome, life seems to hate. I'm suffering between, I realize my fate. Forever alone, I'm caught up in pain. My best when I'm down, my best, I'm insane. Drawn by the hype, but bound by belief. Making my anguish, yet selling my grief. Not like I want it, but take my own way. I'll suffer my agony, to live one more day. Torturing Love By Tovey May 13, 2000 I've been wounded, by a torturing love. One that I hold, for a goddess from above. It kills me inside, the knowledge and truth. The fact that I'll, never be with you. Wish as I may, and pray that I might. Put my arms around you, and hold you all night. I know it can't be, but if only it were. I'd hit euphoria, I know that for sure. If I could make you happy, I'd be happy too. But that's not going to happen, it's something I cannot do. Based on the fact, that you're too good for me. You and I, we can never be. I'll just sit and suffer, I'll keep my distance. Until the day that I'm, no longer in existence. What You Mean To Me By Tovey August 12, 2000 My feelings inside, are more than what's true. I can honestly say, I'm in love with you. I've felt like this before, but never once so strong. Nothing lasts forever, but right now this is where we belong. My heart is in one piece, and my thoughts flow now so clear. Only thoughts of you, being with me now, right here. The pain that once ruled my life, has been lifted from my soul. Ever since you came around, I have been completely whole. What I know you understand, is something I'll never see. Words and terms cannot express, just what you mean to me. Untitled By Tovey Love is just lost, and puzzled I'll be. Until somebody shows us, just how to be me. I know it's not right, because I simply don't follow. That load of shit, is too hard to swallow. Somebody said, take my own path. I am all power, feel my wrath. I'm losing my edge, falling like a dove. My heart is still beating, but I'm at a lack of love. I don't want it like this, but it's not quite my choice. My conscience is screwed, a nagging little voice. Nobody told me, I'd turn out this way. My mind is lost, I've gone astray. Last Chance By Tovey September 19, 2000 Are you are we're over, are you sure we're through? Last chance for us, last chance for you. I want you now, I'll want you forever. There's no point in want, if we can't be together. I don't want to give up, but I feel there's nothing left. You're my will to live, you are my last breath. I just want to hold you, I want to touch your soul. Please come back to me, please once more make me whole. I'll do anything for you, but I think I'll give up now. Unless you want it different, you can tell me how. In The Face of Adversity By Tovey September 13, 2000 In the face of adversity, determination is lost. I'll hold you forever, no matter the cost. People fuck up, no exception am I. This broken down world, is making me die. Forgiveness is not, what I expect to receive. So people talk, and so you believe. What happens next, and where do I burn? I fucked up in life, another lesson to learn. In the face of adversity, I just don't care. Let the guys talk, let the guys stare. It may seem like forever, but present turns past. What we got here, is what I want to last. Not Blind By Tovey September 15, 2000 Another side of agony, another side the same. Two worlds been divided, each with no one to blame. Let the truth be told, I am suffering fate divine. I fucked up and I am oh so sorry, I know I crossed the line. Being myself is not enough anymore, but I have to be unique. I hate my life without holding you, I'll continue to be a freak. I'd bleed now, I'd bleed today, but tomorrow might be bright. When I lay down and go to sleep, I dream of you at night. Confusing thoughts involving you, continue to cross my mind. My heart still beats, this feeling is true, this love sure isn't blind. Please By Tovey September 19, 2000 Please stop me from falling, hold me close to your heart. I want it to happen all over again, but I don't know where to start. My world is going downward, I'm spinning out of control. Full potential is useless now, time will take it's toll. Please stop my soul from dying, love me once again. The way I feel for you right now, must be considered a sin. Existence as I know it, is running out of time. What a pity isn't it, I haven't reached my prime. Please piece my heart together, and lead me back to you. I can't live my life without, you wanting me back too. Shall Not Hear My Cries By Tovey September 20, 2000 Reality kicked me hard in the teeth, totally de-figured my face. Ever since you left me empty, I've been wandering, trying to find my place. It's so damn hard to look for, having my emotions run wild. When I'm with you I feel alive, meaningful, loving, a child. My feelings are so fucking hard to describe, love, pain and hate. I totally despise what I've done, being an asshole, my true fate. Apologies are useless I know, but you never actually said. Those forgiving words I want to hear, now my spirit is dead. Feeling hurt and depressing inside, but yet only loving you. I hate my life, I hate this world, I hate everything I do. I need to love and hold you again, these tears are hurting my eyes. I feel this pain and nothing else, you shall not hear my cries. So... By Tovey September 15, 2000 So my world has crumbled down, and so my life's a ploy. So I've been thrown around, just like a child's toy. So my pain has surfaced again, and so my heart is shot. So this story has no end, it also has no plot. So my fate is controlled by you, and so I lost my mind. So my courage left me hollow, and it's oh so hard to find. So my love is gone once more, and so my hurt is back. So I can't figure out what this means, acceptance is what I lack. So my lust for blood is here, and so my tears return. So Hell welcomes one more time, but there's another day to burn. | Poems | ||||||||||||||||||
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Tonight By Tovey September 13, 2000 On a night like tonight, I can't seem to sleep. Tears of depression, I know I'm a creep. Tossing and turning, and wondering when. The question is if, I can hold you again. Troubled thoughts race, ones I don't think. Laying down motionless, my eyes won't even blink. Confusion sets in, I don't know what to do. Feeling this pain, but still loving you. If bad turns to worse, just be my friend. But I want you to know, I don't want us to end. Another Lonely Thought Divine By Tovey September 20, 2000 Another lonely thought divine, I hate this life I live. You won't accept my now meaningless gift, please take the love I give. I ask but only this in return, to feel once more the same. The way I did before with you, when I knew how to play the game. I'll continue to try when all else fails, when only hope and prayers remain. Without you now I dont see the main road, I am walking on memory lane. I still wake up in beads of sweat, tears soaked wet in my eyes. I always did tell you the truth, when I could have filled you with lies. Did you feel the love I brought, and can you feel it still? I'm living in sorrow, self pity controls, time for another pill. Another lonely thought divine, solitude takes me away. A little hope and a lot of fear, might get me through this day. I Am In Love With You By Tovey September 5, 2000 So as I sit through life, being led by ball and chain. I have everything I need, I have nothing more to gain. I have the love I've longed for, I have my emotions inside. I never thought I'd feel this way, I thought my heart had died. Now you let me love you, you're everything I think. You mean the world to me, you are my missing link. This can't last forever, but I'm enjoying what you give. You give me love, you give me peace, you are my will to live. Love is such a strange thing though, when you're almost certain that it's real. It controls your thoughts, it controls your mind, it tells you how to feel. I told you before I love you, but this time I think is true. So I'll say it for good measure, I am in love with you.< Welcome to Insanity By Tovey September 18, 2000 My life has lost all meaning, insanity draws near. I'm built of love for you my sweet, I'm built of nothing but fear. My heart now seems so hollow, my mind ain't thinking right. Do you know what I'd give, to feel your touch tonight? Love lingers through the days, and even worse between the years. My love for you is real I know, it's as real as these fucking tears. Depression hit me hard inside, my strength now seems so weak. Stupid is as stupid does, but I'm an ugly freak. My soul is ripped and torn apart, my heart is useless now. I'm sure I'll be deemed sane someday, I'll get you back somehow. Feel the Same Way By Tovey September 12, 2000 As if I never cared before, but this time In think is real. My heart beats freely, my mind is set, because of this love I feel. I never thought I'd embrace again, after enduring years of hate. Together with you the past seems vague, the future, I now concentrate. I want you forever, even though it can't be. Loving you now, has set my soul free. You're beautiful and sweet, you are what I live for. You make my love fly, you make my spirit soar. Love feels so different, after my pain by day. I am in love with you, and I hope you feel the same way. A Beautiful Experience By Tovey September 6, 2000 Lay me down and break some bones, show me a new pain. Fuck up my body and mess with my heart, totally screw with my brain. Sit on my stomach and slap me around, then strip me of all of my clothes. Punch both my eyes making them black, then will you please break my nose? Tell me you hate me and spit on my face, then say I'm not worthy of you. Heat up a knife and then touch my skin, and then push the fucker right through. Put my cock in your mouth and suck on that bitch, then clamp down with all of your might. Tie my hands down and pleasure yourself, as day falls into night. Laugh at my pathetic body, then you'll get yourself some. Sit on my cock and then make me scream, ride me until I cum. Another Day By Tovey Another Day of anguish, another day of pain. Another day without you here, I guess I'll go insane. Another day of hatred, another day of life. She broke my heart so I ripped hers out, lucky I don't have a knife. Another day of confusion, another breathing mile. Another day I can't get right, what happened to my smile? Another day of depression, another day of thought. Another day I want to fight, show me what you got. Another day of madness, another day in time. I want you for myself, I want you to be mine. Another day of hearing, another day of sight. Another day of eating shit, can anything be right? Another day on the bottom, wishing I was on top. I just keep falling downward, wondering if I'll stop. Another day of loneliness, another day of hate. Another day that I can't stand I guess I'll have to wait. Another New Obsession By Tovey June 7, 2000 Another new obsession, that's ripping at my heart. A little more agony, might tear me right apart. Another new obsession, that's eating at my brain. A little more loneliness, a little bit of pain. Another new obsession, that's writing off my day. A little piece of time, a better place to play. Another new obsession, that's making me believe. I can live forever, I can never leave. Another new obsession, telling me how to feel. A little bit more wondering, what is and isn't real. Another new obsession, that I just can't deny. 24 more hours, my final day to die. I Could Be Beautiful By Tovey April 30, 2000 I could be beautiful, but my inner most thoughts. Have not yet to surface, have never been bought. I could be beautiful, but I can't think ahead. Yeah, I know, I'm being mislead. I could be beautiful, but deep down inside. My will is forsaken, my spirit has died. I could be beautiful, I could be clean. Never like you, my sweet loving dream. I could beautiful, and I have moved on. You were never there, and already you're gone. I could be beautiful, and open my eyes. A moment with you, the highest of highs. I could be beautiful, happy I'd be. For just a short second, just you and me. I could be beautiful, and they could be too. I'll never be perfect, perfect like you. I love You (Like You'll Never Know) By Tovey July 2, 2000 I love you like you'll never know, my heart runs now un-tame. It seems as if I've finally won, this love and conquer game. I love you like you'll never know, I've put away the knife. Just because now I know, there's so much more to life. I love you like you'll never know, you've become a part of me. I once was blind but you've opened my eyes, and now I can plainly see. I love you like you'll never know, I feel so damn alive. I found the love I've been searching for, I think I'll now survive. I love you like you'll never know, through my blood soaked clothes. Everyday that passes by, my love for you just grows. I Miss You By Tovey I miss the way you loved me, and the way that I loved you. I miss the way you cheered me up, through the shit that I've been through. I miss my arms around you, I miss your warming smile. And for what it's worth, it was worth all the while. I miss the heart you gave me, I miss the way I felt. My feelings were for you, for you an no one else. I miss the way I'd pick on you, I miss your tender care. I miss you since you're not around, my God I feel so bare. I miss the way you'd laugh, and all the other shit too. Ah Hell, I'll be blunt. I miss you. I Thought I Wanted By Tovey May 3, 2000 I thought I wanted, to be left alone. Me and my fear, fear of the unknown. I thought I wanted, an Uzi suicide. But that's not true, I'm honest, I lied. I thought I wanted, to be the king. I'd reign supreme, I'd rule everything. I thought I wanted, to clear my head. If I keep going like this, 3 weeks until I'm dead. I thought I wanted, my feeling deceased. Darken my heart, or freeze over at least. I thought I wanted, to know what's true. But as it turns out, I only want you. I Want To Be Your Everything By Tovey March 2, 2000 I want to be your everything, I want to be your air. I want you to love me, I want to feel your care. I want to be your everything, I want to be your slave. I want to drown in a puddle of your blood, and I don't want to be saved. I want to be your everything, I want to be your heart. I want to be your inner thoughts, mine are torn apart. I want to be your everything, I want to be your skin. I want to live in your heart, I want to settle within. I want to be your everything, I want you here with me. I want you to be in my life, I'm not going to let it be. I want to be your everything, I want to be your man. I want my arms around you, I'll do whatever I can. Loveless Life By Tovey June 5, 2000 Ever since that wretched day, when my world came crashing down. I was standing in the middle naked unable to make a sound. My heart has been torn out, and ripped to tiny shreds. Some people say I'm crazy, I say it's in their heads. I know my feelings, are sometimes mixed. But if I could have you, my heart might be fixed. All I need, is you to hold. Cure my agony, take the cold. All the shit I take, with all my pain that's real. If only I had the balls, to tell you how I feel. I miss my happiness, I miss upper hand. This sick sadistic world, is sometimes too much to stand My Dreams Are Gone By Tovey April 11, 2000 My dreams are gone, and I'm distraught. I still laugh loudest, who'd have thought? My dreams are gone, and I've been used. I feel like shit, I've been abused. My dreams are gone, and I'm in Hell. I'm so disturbed, can you tell? My dreams are gone, I can't concentrate. Don't worry about me, I'll suffer a worse fate. My dreams are gone, and I've been hurt. My grave has been dug, I'm laying in dirt. My dreams are gone, and you don't care. Neither do I, 'cause life isn't fair. My dreams are gone, and I fell in. There's nothing left, I guess you win. No Longer Alone By Tovey June 16, 2000 The loneliness of life, has gotten in my way. One too many times, just for me to say. I've taken my share of shit, but I'm still standing tall. The painful times I faced, almost made me fall. Hardly my decision, just my calling card. Making it through life, can sometimes be so hard. I haven't quit just yet, I haven't given in. I don't know if I'll make it, I don't know if I'll win. The present is now mine, I'm happy to the bone. Because since I got you, baby, I no longer feel alone. Nobody's Fool By Tovey July 29, 2000 It's now time for the world to end, for the earth to crash and burn. People dying, one by one, I hope next it will be your turn. The blazing heat from the pits of Hell, horror is all that's felt. To think the world will be a memory, this place is sure to melt. Not exactly the way we want it, but the choice is not ours to make. Because of the way we lived our lives, not knowing what is and isn't fake. If it were up to me I'd make the call, to let us all just live. A life of regret, a life of hate, a life with nothing to give. But I have not the power yet, to make such a decisive call. There is proof that I fell down, you were there to watch me fall. Although you didn't help my fight, and now madness makes the rules. Through all the shit that I have faced, I still ain't nobody's fool. Noting That's New By Tovey April 26, 2000 A heart is a heart, and I'm bleeding for you. Suffer my desire, isn't something new. I put trust in fate, and got screwed over bad. I never really realized, what you and I had. Is it too late for regrets? I have none to make. What you and I shared, was more than just fake. It wasn't the real shit, but close enough to care. Why aren't we together, this just isn't fair. You are my sun and my moon, the air that I breath. You're my whole fucking life, please don't leave. Random Thoughts By Tovey June 9, 2000 Life is what you make it, and I'm beat down and low. Just another day of heart-ache, something you'll never know. The pain that I encounter, and the agony I face. Once was all happiness, but since has been replaced. I remember a time, when my life was still on track. I didn't have to worry, about being stabbed in the back. But life has since then curved, in to another place out there. A place where I am now, a place where no one cares. The Last Day On Earth By Tovey May 5, 2000 Today is the first day, of the rest of out lives. The last day on earth, a good person dies. Bloodshed and bombing, people agast. The future is now, forget your burnt past. Shaking and trembling, death from above. The world lost it's ways, we just can't show love. Nobody cares, and nobody will. We're going to Hell, we're falling downhill. The deep dark secrets, of lies and hate. The world lost it's morals, it's forever too late. There's Something About Maril By Tovey June 27, 2000 There's something in your solar eyes, and in your cosmic stare. There's something in the way you talk, the way you curse and swear. There's something in your beautiful face, and in your gleaming smile. There's something in the way you dress, the way you party in style. There's something in the way you laugh, and in your graffiti art. There's something in your silky skin, the way you heal my heart. There's something in your crimson blood, and in your salty tears. There's something in your soothing voice, the way you calm my fears. There's something in the way you act, and in everything you do. There's something way, deep down inside, and it's making me love you. Thoughts From Within By Tovey June 6, 2000 So life has thrown another turn, another slap in the face. I've ran through time, I've ran through this, but still can't win the race. Never have I questioned before, the way I trust my fate. I can hardly breath and it's hard to die, I just can't lay and wait. It's hard for me to understand, this bitter freezing cold. So does this mark another chapter, of my life, my story untold. If only I could explain to you, the way I feel inside. Love is rich and I'm a beggar, my spirit has killed and died. I've said it before, I'll say it again, and some time through the years. I'll wallow in filth, I'll give up my heart, I'll hope to drown in tears. | ||||||||||||||||||
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